I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
