a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
