apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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