I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
