Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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