Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
