This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
