hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Green mimosas i think yes
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
