his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
