I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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