her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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