Define "chronic" masturbator.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
