i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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