I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
