So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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