I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
