dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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