Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
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