fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
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My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
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CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Do you have feelings for this penis?