Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When did angry sex become our thing?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.