my phone needs a breathalizer
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird