So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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