Someone shit on the floor
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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