hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
