Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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