He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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