She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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