The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
