she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
