i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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