hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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