It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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