My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
