I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize