Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
