one might say we're banned from that church
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
50% drunk capacity currently
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
