"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize