The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
