my phone needs a breathalizer
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
