I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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