Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
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If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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