At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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