I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
