FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
