i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
