god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
