Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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