I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
