We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
