He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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