I CAN MOONWALK!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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