beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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