whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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