I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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