I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
