i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
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im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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