She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
