the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
