If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
