I accidentally burped into my bong.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
