pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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