chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
