I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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