"it" just moved
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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