found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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