there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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